Each week, Coltzilla will scour the net for team rankings from football experts covering the previous week, and discuss them from the fan’s perspective.
Average Ranking: 32.00 (previously 32.00) – Who was it that said ‘There’s nowhere to go but up’? Does anybody know? We want to book him for the next Pancakes podcast.
CBS Sports – Pete Prisco – 32nd (no change): Curtis Painter gets worse by the week. Peyton Manning must get sick to his stomach watching him. [He wouldn't be the only one, Pete.]
ESPN – 32nd (no change): They get to escape for a bit with a bye before returning to see whether they can upset the Panthers in Indy. (Kuharsky) [Escape, rest, forget, focus, heal... all good reasons the Colts need this bye.]
Fox Sports – 32nd (no change): Is it possible for Peyton Manning to win an MVP award and not even take a snap all season? [If not, it should be.]
WEEI in Boston – 32nd (no change): The Colts are now the worst team in the league by two games. Their six remaining games are against the Panthers, Patriots, Ravens, Titans, Texans, and Jaguars. The Colts could very well become just the second team in NFL history to go 0-16. [Not gonna happen. Too much pride (and talent) on this team to let it.]
Pro Football Talk – 32nd (no change): The only remaining question is whether Andrew Luck will do to the Colts what John Elway did to the Colts in 1983. [The only question? Really? What about... Will Peyton Manning play again. Will the Colts have the first pick? If so, will they choose Luck? Can the Colts afford both? Will Luck even enter the draft? Will Coach survive the season? And the biggest question of all... why do we call these guys 'experts'?]
Sports Illustrated – Don Banks – 32nd (no change): Looks like the Colts are doing everything in their power to go 0-16 and assure themselves of drafting Andrew Luck. Why else would you bring back quarterback Dan Orlovsky, who also played some for the 2008 Lions, the only team in league history to turn the 0-16 trick? The former UConn passer is six losses away from being the answer to one heck of a trivia question. [Trying to lose? Seriously? Shut up, Banks.]
Walter Football – 32nd (no change): [Let's just move on, shall we?]
Yahoo Sports – 32nd (no change): Is this club really going to win a game this season? [Yes, and I expect it to happen next week against Carolina... because that's what fans do... believe in their team.]