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Colts Roundtable: Applied Paganoisms 101

Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I sure have. I just don’t have the spare time to write these posts at the rate I once did. Here we are, though, with a roundtable that was due out a day or two ago, and I’m delighted with everyone’s contributions. The Roundtable is exactly what […]

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - SEPTEMBER 11: Indianapolis Colts fans react after a touchdown by Donte Moncrief #10 of the Indianapolis Colts during the second quarter of the game against the Detroit Lions at Lucas Oil Stadium on September 11, 2016 in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)

Offensive Aggression and Defensive…Optimism?

Good morning, everybody. Last week, we saw the Colts defense do a lot of Colts defense things, like give up touchdowns, bite really hard on play action, and put their hands on their hips and shake their heads.  There were good moments, but it was a rough day overall.  New defensive coordinator Ted Monachino led […]

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - SEPTEMBER 11: Andrew Luck #12 of the Indianapolis Colts and T.Y. Hilton #13 of the Indianapolis Colts celebrate after the Colts took the lead in the fouth quarter of the game against the Detroit Lions at Lucas Oil Stadium on September 11, 2016 in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Photo by Dylan Buell/Getty Images)

Kicked in the Final Seconds: Lions 39 Colts 35

Week One: Indianapolis vs. Detroit, 4:25 p.m. I start every season the same way: the television goes on during the kickoff for game one, no sooner, no later. I’m usually a mess, having rushed back to make the kickoff. I sit back, pretend like I was there the whole time, and hope the roster isn’t […]

CA Mock Mock Draft

Colts Authority Mock Draft Parody

Tired of actual mock drafts?  No?  Well, I’m here to make fun of them anyway.  It’s the Colts Authority Mock Mock Draft (not a typo).  My apologies in advance. Los Angeles Rams. St. Louis fans would be more upset here, but they just remembered they don’t really care about football. The Rams, long bereft of […]

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - NOVEMBER 29 : Trent Cole #58 of the Indianapolis Colts celebrates a sack during the game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Lucas Oil Stadium on November 29, 2015 in Indianapolis, Indiana. Indianapolis defeated Tampa Bay 25-12. (Photo by Michael Hickey/Getty Images)

Trent Cole Takes a Pay Cut, Bjoern Werner Takes a Hike

Now is the Winter of Our Discount Trent (Yeah, I went there.  And I’m not sorry. I stand behind that joke). After re-signing Dwayne Allen, the Colts are back to executing offseason moves today, making tough choices about two pass rushers who did little to make anyone excited last year. First, Outside Linebacker Trent Cole […]

of the Tennessee Titans against the Indianapolis Colts at Lucas Oil Stadium on January 3, 2016 in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Colts finish with a win, 30-24

We just saw the Colts hold on to finish 8-8 in a year with Super Bowl expectations versus a team that finished 3-13 in a year with maybe 8-8 expectations.  It was a hard season to watch, but at least we aren’t Titans fans, watching one unwatchable farce after another.  If you know a Tennessee […]

game over

Game Over: Colts Offense Dies Against Houston, 16-10

Today, we saw a hideous game and a hobbled, beat-up quarterback who had no business playing in the first place.  As former Colts Authority editor Greg Cowan said during the game, this is the kind of game you show to a non-football fan so they’ll feel better about their life choices (or something along those […]

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Post Apocalyptic Colts Roundtable: What Would Irsay Say? & Who is in Charge Next Year?

Well, Colts fans, it happened.  The Roundtable got weird.  Oh, wait, that already happened.  If you’re reading this, it’s likely you’ve gone off the deep end with us. Today, after another debacle loss may have sealed some people’s fate in the organization, we’re speculating about coaches and general managers, and looking into Andrew Luck’s future. […]

JACKSONVILLE, FL - DECEMBER 13:   Trent Cole #58 of the Indianapolis Colts hits the arm of  Blake Bortles #5 of the Jacksonville Jaguars during the game at EverBank Field on December 13, 2015 in Jacksonville, Florida.  (Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images)

WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?! Jags 51, Colts 16

Somewhere in the afternoon quiet of the North Florida retirement community the Jaguars call home, you could hear the wheels falling further off of the Colts’ once-promising season. Grit, determination, toughness, Chuck Pagano’s poker chips – none of these things could save them. We all would’ve loved to see Matt Hasselbeck have one more good […]

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Well, that escalated quickly: Steelers 45, Colts 10

The game started out hilariously, with Jacoby Jones receiving the kickoff, running it out form 8 yards deep, then promptly fumbling the ball (Jonathan Newsom knocked it free – this is a guy who should be on the field more.  Good things happen around number 91) The Colts, in great field position, did what the […]

steelers jersey

Roundtable part 1: Steelers, How do We Loathe Thee?

Please note that this is all in fun, right down to the cheesy poetry reference in the title. If you are a Steelers fan reading this, bear in mind that people joke about “hating” (or loathing, in this case) your team because they are a standard for NFL success. If people are writing pieces like this about […]

chuck thanksgiving

Colts Roundtable: Bold Predictions & What on Earth Happened to the Run Game?

Hello, Colts fans.  I hope you’ve all had a fantastic Thanksgiving and a safe, responsible black Friday (I gladly haven’t gone anywhere near a retail establishment today). While the Colts prepare for the surprisingly dangerous Buccaneers and Chuck Pagano works on this week’s motivational catchphrase, we’re taking the roundtable in two directions: lighthearted (bold predictions […]

during the second half against the Indianapolis Colts at the Georgia Dome on November 22, 2015 in Atlanta, Georgia.

Colts March past Atlanta 24-21

Today, I’m giving you my complete, unabridged, unfiltered (probably a bad idea), barely edited recap/ game diary, written as this sweet, if somewhat ugly, win unfolded, with a few adjustments.  So, raise a glass to our pal Matt Hasselbeck (who surely needs a drink after getting knocked around all afternoon), and re-live the win with […]

"Here. Make a wish...Nice."

Colts Roundtable: Indy’s Weird Season Continues in Atlanta

(If you’re confused about that photo, watch this…unique commercial: Andrew Luck AmeriTrade ) Lame ducks, infighting, injuries, weird losses, weirder wins.  Nearly losing to the Jaguars, nearly beating the Patriots, that stupid play that was never should’ve happened, the devastating low of a major injury to Andrew Luck.  This is the Colts’ 2015 season.  It’s been a […]

HOUSTON, TX - OCTOBER 08:   Andrew Luck #12 of the Indianapolis Colts, right talks with Matt Hasselbeck #8 before a game against the Houston Texans at NRG Stadium on October 8, 2015 in Houston, Texas.  (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

Colts Bye Week Roundtable of Awesomeness

After a week punctuated by both an exhilarating win and awful news about Andrew Luck, we have…a bye.  This team has needed a bye for about…eight weeks now, and it’s finally here – but not without questions.  I posed a few burning queries that many of us may be thinking of already (or will be now, sorry) […]

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Week 9 Colts Roundtable: Beating the Expectations (and Peyton)

  Imagine Peyton Manning with a great defense, we used to say.  That would be awesome, we used to say.  Well, here we are.  Peyton + Defense is coming to town, and the 3-5 Colts need to find a way to send them home wondering what went wrong. Sunday’s game has the potential to be […]

during their game at Bank of America Stadium on November 2, 2015 in Charlotte, North Carolina. The Panthers won 29-26 in overtime.

Almost Doesn’t Count: Colts 26, Panthers 29 in OT

  The Colts nearly dead offense started off looking shaky.  I can deal with shaky.  They’ve won games looking shaky back when they STILL KNEW WHAT THE NO HUDDLE OFFENSE WAS.  But they wound up gifting the Panthers a possession in Indy territory with a bad center-quarterback exchange. Indy’s defense came through, as they would […]

She's wearing a Manning jersey.  Okay.  What is the guy on the left doing, calling a safety?  (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)

Rolling Ball of Questions: The Week 8 Colts Round Table

  As the Colts, 3-4 but still first in the AFC South, prepare to play the 6-0 Carolina Panthers…Wait, that intro makes me feel like I’ve accidentally time traveled into a dystopian alternate NFL future aboard a faulty DeLorean or erstwhile T.A.R.D.I.S.   Rolling ball of butcher knives! (…is what I say when I’m upset now.  Or […]

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