JC’s first email to 18to88

I swear to you I am not making any of this up.  I have embellished nothing.

As a response to my recent April Fool’s Day joke, resident Pats fan J.C. wrote me requesting I post the first email he ever sent to 18to88.  It was in response to 88 Reason to Hate the Patriots.

I will oblige him.  I have had to edit the email slightly, because parts of it were pretty vile.  JC says, “I was on a ton of steroids then……I said and wrote things with ‘unchecked aggression”.  The email was titled: 12 Things I hate about the Colts.  Remember the blanks have been redacted in the name of human decency.  This email was sent in November of 2007.  I responded by calling him possibly “the worst human being alive”.

12.  Tony Dungy’s ________ face.  This hypocrite looks like ________________, aside from his ashy _______ moustache.

11.  Peyton Manning’s goofy southern confederate accent.  If he weren’t a total athletic stud, he would never get laid.

10.  Tom Brady would.

9.  The RCA dome and its fake noise.  It’s not bad enough you have fake fans, and benefit from fake penalties, but you need fake noise too?  Which is worse?  Taping hand signals that hardly ever get used anymore, or directly affecting the outcome of the game by impairing the offense’s ability to hear

8.  The city of Indianapolis and the state of Indiana.  What a hick-ass, farm-based, middle of nowhere joke of a metropolis.  Nobody take a place like this seriously.  Kind of like Green Bay.

7.  Adam Vinateri=Benedict Arnold

6.  Excuses, excuses, excuses.  Did you hear any of the Patriots bitch about officiating last year?  Or did the Krafts push to get rules changed?  Or did we complain – or even MENTION – the injuries that befell our team before or after we lost to the Colts in 2006?  NO!  The Patriots are men and accept losing like men, not whiney little bitches that overrate themselves.

5.  Tony Dungy’s halo and the national media’s coronation of him as Saint Tony. ____________________________________.

4.  Bill Polian.  What a punk!  I’m glad this guy finally won one or he might have assaulted MORE undersized NFL personnel.

3.  The fact that nobody made mention of how bad the 2004-2006 Colts ran up the score on pretty much everyone they played, including the insufferable DirecTV commercial where Manning is addressing the audience from under center, then throws a touchdown when the screen reads 28-3 Colts with 2:30 left to go in the 4 quarter.

2. Pete Prisco and his weekly Manning ballwashing.

1.   Tom Jackson.  I hate the Colts because of Tom Jackson

 

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