Putting up with Family

JC is the “drunk uncle” of the 18to88.com family.  One of our longest and most loyal readers, he is a belligerent Patriots fan, and generally under the influence of something.  By virtue of his long tenure, and because he had the guts to show up after the Pats lost the Super Bowl, he gets a free pass to say most anything he wants.  It’s generally offensive and ill conceived, but he does serve as the voice of the Patriots fan here at 18to88.  Because it’s a holiday week, and we are all going to have to get along with family, I’ve consented to let JC share his thoughts on the game.  I’ve had to edit the language heavily.

OK.  Lemme throw in my two cents.  All I did was read through all 93 comments and try to make as many mental notes as possible, so the list below is as relative to the 93 former posts as I could possibly make.  Again, in no particular sequence of thought, and not meant to be provocative or antagonistic like a lot of the sh*t I write.

1.  I think we’ve found an answer to the two ends that have plagued us in past years, especially last year in the 4th and 2 game (which we outplayed you in).  The answer is the three headed monster known as Vollmer, Crumpler and Gronkowski.  The big guys up front blocked, chipped, and neutralized Freeney and Mathis.  Save for a nifty spin move on Matt Light yesterday, the two vaunted ends, who were healthy, did precisely d**k.  And when you run the ball at those guys it’s like you’re playing with 10 men on the field.  If anybody wondered where was Aaron Hernandez other than his TD catch early, it’s because Crump got the bulk of the snaps keeping the jackals off of 12.

DZ:  Freeney made plays, but Mathis was shut down completely. 

2.  Speaking of 10 men, did anybody see Deion Branch fly down the field and throw G-Unit blocks on the Danny Woodhead 30 yard touchdown run (how badly did that hurt to watch)?  DZ never cited this because he didn’t watch the games, he just formulated opinions on box scores and plagiarized ESPN, but Randy Moss you know………..QUIT on this team after week one against Cincy.  Deion and Welker downfield throwing blocks and playing a team game reminds me that for the first month and change of the season, we played offense with ten men.

3.  Peyton Manning is the best pure passer I’ve ever seen.  If we DO get you back up top in January, I can only hope he won’t make the kind of throws to Wayne and Blair Smith (second one) in the windy, cold, snowy (I hope) elements.  Best pure passer I’ve ever seen.  As far as “Quarterback”, I’ll argue with you guys til I die behind that.  Based on what I’ve witnessed, personally – with both guys – over the past ten years, there’s nobody I’d rather have on my side than Brady.  Manning does throw a beautiful ball though, just not always to Colts.

4.  The Patriots’ play calling in the fourth quarter was awful.  I called the Planet Mikey Show back home earlier tonight to scream about it.  Handing off on second and 8 on two consecutive series??  What the F**K was that?  You’re gonna run the clock out with Peyton Manning on the other sideline, 7 minutes left in the game and he’s got all 3 timeouts????  JOKE.  Throw the ball, get first downs, take knees.  Charlie woulda gone at you guys five wide right there and put bullets in your kneecaps.

5.  DZ wondered out loud, both rhetorically and d**kheadedly, earlier this year ‘What do the Patriots do WELL?“.  They can run the ball, they stop the run, they have Tom Brady, their special teams are excellent, they protect the passer, they don’t turn the ball over, they don’t commit penalties and they don’t lose at home.  Sounds like a recipe for 14-2.

6.  I know, statistically, the Patriots’ pass defense is terrible.  But when Peyton Manning says [They moved some things around in coverage and I had some MISREADS] it’s an encouraging sign for my young group.    This isn’t a group of sh*theads that you roll out in a base dime package and say “don’t get beat deep” anymore.  The fact that they showed cover -2 and morphed to cover zero, or showed cover-2 and played cover-4 (which is precisely what happened on the McCourty pick) means that Bill is comfortable with the personnel he has to add “wrinkles” to the gameplan.  ’07, ’08 and ’09 didn’t have that.  Lot of young kids back there, but high draft choices, high football IQ and high potential to knock Hines Ward, Austin Collie and whoever else the f**k out of the football game on the drop of a dime.  Plus, intercept Peyton Manning three times.

DZ:  The Pats defense is not talented, but is very well coached.  I’ve always held the coaching of NE in the highest esteem.  Belichick can’t draft a secondary to save his life, but the man can scheme, no question.  I love how you celebrate head injuries.  Classy. 

7.  We scored on our first five possessions.

DZ:  Yes, you did.  Worst. Defensive. Gameplan. EVER.

8.  Three Manning INT’s led to ten points and a kneeldown.  And maybe the “Z” next to our name in the standings.  After all, the vaunted Jets DID beat the murderers row on their schedule of Cleveland, Detroit and Houston by a margin of 25 points per game.  Oh?  They didn’t?

 DZ:  The first pick was on third down.  Let me ask you honestly, if Indy punts on that first possession, what are the odds the Pats drive the length of the field and score a TD anyway?  I’d put them north of 90%.  It was a stupid throw and a bad one, but 3rd down picks hurt less than other ones.  The return was a killer, but I’m not sure it mattered in the end. Our D was that bad.

9.  Strength of schedule.  Let’s put it out there:  We’ve beaten Baltimore, San Diego and Pitt on the road, and Indy.  ALL after we traded Randy f****t a** Moss.  DZ, DMStorm and Joe Tater Tots for Late Night Snack Baker have all been more wrong than I was about Oxycontin mixed with Patron and Xanax being a reasonable concoction.  You guys SUCK.  Awful.  Terrible.  Worse than losing the Superbowl on a pick six, provided that’s even possible.  I mean, maybe if you had already had a dynastic half decade to fall back on to console your grief…….but you didn’t.  Anyhow – YOU GUYS HAVEN’T BEATEN ANYBODY.  Not even a *************** (comment redacted for offensive racial comment about Indiana)

DZ:  I’m not a big S.o.S. guy  After the Outsiders proved that beating bad teams big is better than beating good teams by a little, I gave up that train of thought.

10.  Tom Brady’s hair is unbelievable.

11.  My girl yelled from the kitchen during Peyton’s postgame last night “PLEASE mute him!  I can’t take it!  He sounds like Forrest Gump it’s unbearable!”.  I’m going to propose next month.

12.  I’ll end on twelve, not coincidentally, with this:  For the first time in a lonnnnnnnng line of frustrating games with the Colts, Peyton Manning was NOT issued his perennial, third and long, fourth quarter, should be a punt situation, Polian Rule, pass interference/illegal contact/defense holding bail out penalty that he gets every year.  Without it (he had to punt once in the fourth quarter and I KNOW you guys were screaming for laundry on the field, I think the defending player was Chung), he just wasn’t good enough to overcome himself.

Ok, that was provocative.

Thanks, JC.  Your contributions are enlightening as always.

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