2010 NFL Predicted Standings-The Harrison Ford Edition

We’ve gotten pretty good at prognosticating over the years.  It’s always a war, but we are never lost when it comes to soothsaying.  Will it be it a glorious day or a dark night for your favorite team? 18to88 is here to tell you.

This year, we pay homage to the birth of Harrison Dunlevy, the latest child born with blue in his blood. We are rocking 2010 Harrison Ford style.  As always, the predicted records are loosely based on a combination of predictions by the Football Outsiders, pythagorean wins, and our own personal biases.

UPDATE:  Here’s a recap of how these predictions fared.  Pretty well actually!

AFC EAST

10-6 New England

Allie Fox

Mosquito Coast

“It’s an absolute sin to accept the decadence of obsolescence. Why do things get worse and worse? They don’t have to. They could get better and better. We accept that things fall apart.”
9-7 New York Jets

Richard Walker

Frantic

“Don’t mess with me, man! I am an American, and I am crazy”
7-9 Miami Dolphins

Indiana Jones

The Temple of Doom

“I’m allowing you to tag along. So why don’t you give your mouth a rest. Okay doll?”
5-11 Buffalo Bills

Sgt. Joe Gavilan

Hollywood Homicide

“Well we’ve got four mama’s boys down at the morgue. It wasn’t a game last night”

AFC NORTH

12-4 Baltimore Ravens

Indiana Jones

The Last Crusade

“I’m like a bad penny, I always turn up”
10-6 Pittsburgh Steelers

Jack Trainer

Working Girl

“The earth moved. The angels wept. The Polaroids are, are, uh…are in my other coat!”
7-9 Cincinnati Bengals

Jack Ryan

Patriot Games

“I am telling you I want back in!”
3-13

Cleveland Browns

Lt. Colonel Barnsby

Force 10 From Navarone

“I did your job. Now help me do mine.”

AFC SOUTH

13-3

Indianapolis Colts

Indiana Jones

Raiders of the Lost Ark

“I’m making this up as I go.”

8-8 Houston Texans

Jack Ryan

Clear and Present Danger

“Reciprocity.” That’s a clever name for it. Revenge is a very, very, very dangerous motivation”
7-9 Tennessee Titans

President James Marshall

Air Force One

“How can I do that? I can’t do that! DON’T ASK ME FOR SOMETHING I CAN’T GIVE YOU!”
4-12 Jacksonville Jaguars

Colonel Lucas

Apocalypse Now

“You understand, Captain, that this mission does not exist, nor will it ever exist…”

AFC WEST

11-5 San Diego Chargers

Henry Turner

Regarding Henry

-Hey Hank, watcha doin’?

-Paintin’.  Crackers.

8-8 Kansas City Chiefs

Han Solo

Star Wars

“What’re you lookin’ at? I know what I’m doin’.”
6-10 Denver Broncos

Norman Spencer

What Lies Beneath

“It was a passive/aggressive masterpiece.”
5-11 Oakland Raiders

Richard Deckard

Blade Runner

“Shakes? Me too. I get ‘em bad.  It’s part of the business.”

NFC EAST

11-5 Dallas Cowboys

Linus Larrabee

Sabrina

“You’re the world’s only living heart donor”
10-6 Washington Redskins

Rusty Siebich

Presumed Innocent

“I like you Rusty, but I think it’s over… It’s just not right for me. It’s over… I don’t want us to end enemies”
9-7 New York Giants

Captain Alexei Vostrikov

K-19: The Widow Maker

“We deliver, or we drown.”
8-8

Philadelphia

Eagles

Dr. Richard

Kimball

The Fugitive

“What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area”

NFC NORTH

12-4 Green Bay Packers

Bob Falfa

American Graffiti

“Say, I like the color of your car there. What’s that s’posed to be? Sort of a cross between piss yella’ and puke green ain’t it?”
9-7

Minnesota

Vikings

Indiana Jones

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Damn, I thought that was closer!

8-8 Chicago Bears

John Book

Witness

“If we’d made love last night I’d have to stay. Or you’d have to leave.”
3-13 Detroit Lions

Quinn Harris

Six Days, Seven Nights

“Well I’m the captain. That’s my job. It’s no good for me to go waving my arms in the air and screaming “Oh s**t, we’re gonna die!” That doesn’t invoke much confidence, does it?”

NFC SOUTH

12-4 Atlanta Falcons

Han Solo

Return of the Jedi

“I’m out of it a little while and everyone gets delusions of grandeur!”
11-5 New Orleans Saints

David Halloran

Hanover Street

-They’re shooting at us! How come every time we fly over, they shoot guns at us?

-Because we drop bombs on them

6-10 Carolina Panthers

Tom O’Meara

The Devil’s Own

“Don’t look for a happy ending. This isn’t an American story.  It’s an Irish one”
5-11 Tampa Bay Bucs

Dr. Robert Stonehill

Extraordinary Measures

“I’m going to go take a crap – if that meets with you fiscal approval…

NFC WEST

8-8 Arizona Cardinals

Jack Stanfield

Firewall

“Pack up your s**t and get out of here, now!”
7-9

Seattle Seahawks

Dutch

Van Den Boreck

Random Hearts

“You know what I do for a living?  I get paid to notice stuff.  I get paid to know who’s lying.  I didn’t have a clue”
7-9

San Francisco 49ers

Tommy

The Frisco Kid

“You give me the pee doodles
5-11

Saint Louis Rams

Bellhop

Dead Heat on a Merry Go Round

“Paging Mr. Ellis!”


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